Sophomore speaks Klingon as a second language


Sam Joy

Klingon speaking Nathan Williams.

Interview by Jocelyn Splittstoser, Feature Writer

Sophomore Nathan Williams opens his mouth expelling an eerie language that sounds like blended Mandarin Chinese, Marilyn Manson, and Big Bang Theory-speak.
“I’ve been speaking Klingon since I started watching Star Trek,” Williams proudly said. “I also learned from some books.”
Not only is he a self-taught Klingon prodigy, but he is also fluent in Andorian and Rihannsu (the native language of the Romulons). For anyone who’s unaware exactly what Klingon is…it’s a warrior language spoken by one of the toughest species in the world of Star Trek.
Although speaking this fictional language is a hit at parties it hasn’t really made him a hit with the ladies. “Most people think it’s weird,” he said, adding that he’d like to see a Klingon-speak dating app created for people like him to meet up.
When asked if the Klingon language produces any sounds not heard in the English language, Nate barked out a primal sound that would have given a snake the shivers.
His favorite Star Trek character is Spock, the pointy-eared, Vulcan first mate played by actor Leonard Nimoy. Although Williams has perfected Klingon he doesn’t quite have the Vulcan death grip down.
“My favorite Star Trek series is the original one,’ he explained. He’s also fond of the new movies although he thinks they broke 23rd-century protocol with the abilities they’ve given the Enterprise (the main starship).
Williams probably wouldn’t be too fond of the Klingon diet which consists of live worms and blood wine. Not even Mountain Dew would tangle with that flavor.
Trekkies are aware that Federation members wear shirts with different colors. Williams would be fine wearing gold, or blue, but not red. For non-fans there’s a running joke that anyone wearing red got killed by aliens.
“The only person who wore red that ever survived is Scotty,” Williams explained. Maybe Williams would survive, but it’s never smart to tempt fate. Besides Nathan is a Bluejacket, after all.
If given the ability to be beamed to one place, Williams would love for Scotty to take him to the original Starship Enterprise. If given the chance to use the holodeck or a time machine, the real-world ship wreck expert would probably ask for transport on the Titanic or the Edmund Fitzgerald to experience a sinking.
Williams doesn’t know of any Klingon proverbs, he does know the forbidden word that Klingons use for all swear words and he also knows the Kala song often sang by Klingons during battle.
He has one friend that speaks broken-Klingon so he isn’t able to fluently converse with him, but to his surprise CIHS Social Studies Teacher Mr. Miller understands the language. He even turned in a term paper in full Klingon to Mr. Miller during freshman economics.

What future lies ahead for Williams? Will he go where no man has gone before? Will he become a language teacher majoring in Klingon? Only the future will tell.