Maxene Vasquez at Model UN competition.
I’m Maxene, I’m a sophomore at Cambridge Isanti High School, and it’s my first year in Model UN. There are a lot of things I could say about Model UN. I just wanna start by explaining why I joined and how it connects with who I am. Model UN can change you as a person. It gives you confidence, new skills, and builds new friendships and relationships. I decided to join because in my freshman year, I made an oath to myself that I had to step out of my comfort zone, conquer my weaknesses, and be a better person. I knew in my Sophomore year that I would definitely hate it at first and resent it, but I always reminded myself that I was doing it for me and for my future. Ive always spoken highly of the importance of academics and education, as well as being involved. Some people might joke about it and not take it seriously, but at the time, I don’t think I had a grasp of what was there for me, what I could do, who I wanted to be, or how to learn to accept myself.
I remember in the beginning of my sophomore year and my first year as a member in Model UN, I constantly doubted myself a lot of what I could do, whether I was too dumb to think, I wasn’t confident enough, I wasn’t smart enough, or the fact that I could not do it at all. I would say that Model UN can be overwhelming at first. I mean, I was bombarded with information that I didn’t understand, but at the same time, I had a determination to understand it. I had to ask my advisor and the vets in the team, bombarding them with questions about everything; truthfully, halfway through, I felt like I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit because I was driven into something I wasn’t used to, I doubted my intelligence, and the worst part is that I even doubted myself almost all the time. There was a point in my sophomore and freshman years, of sudden realization of a lot of things, i started to see the opportunities, chances, and an education that was offered, and adding on top of it, Model UN has taught me a different perspective of the world around me; it gave me something that drives my passion, a constant reminder of my roots and where I came from. The team and the club constantly reminded me of who I am as a person, as well as how I see things differently, and then it hit me that I have the eyes of an immigrant, the blood of an immigrant, and I am the daughter of immigrant parents. By honoring my parents’ sacrifices and hard work in coming here, I returned to them by being involved, excelling in school, being who I am, and being proud of where I came from, especially by representing it in a group like Model UN.
I remember my first Model UN conference, which was in late November, and I signed up to do it. I let my advisor choose my partner while I chose the topic and the country. I was given a partner I barely talked to, and I worked up the encouragement to communicate with them. At the time, I already chosen a topic and the country. I scheduled time for both of us to work on the paper and research. Beforehand, I was halfway through researching and ready to write. Unfortunately, a week before the papers were due, my partner had a trip on the day of the conference. I obviously panicked because I didn’t know what to do, and what to do in the committee. Fortunately, my partner was really nice enough to find me a partner. Turns out I was partnered up with the best of the best in the club, and honestly, I was really shocked and relieved. Long story short, I collaborated with my new partner, explaining what I knew. I was overwhelmed by everything at the time; he helped me relax and gave me guidelines on what to do. I remembered that week being so emotionally distressing and anxiety-filled, I helped the best I could for my partner, as to research, writing, and providing the information that I found. Eventually, after stressful nights, writing sessions, and plans. We eventually turned the paper in on the day it was due. I felt accomplished as well as relieved. Moving forward, days after, It was the day of the conference, It was held at Macalester college, when I first went to the intro or I would call it the time before committe started, I was intimidated by the amount of people in the room, I was roomed with people who knew what they were doing, they looked serious, and confident. I was doubting myself, of course, and I was worried there were things I couldn’t do in committee. Eventually, the committee started, and we got on the speakers’ list early. I was extremely nervous about speaking to a crowd, but having a partner on my side did soothe it. I was slightly shaky, but as soon as I spoke, it felt like nothing had mattered; I felt like no one was there to judge me. Eventually, we had to leave early for the committee. I did the best I could as a partner and followed the instructions I was given. Later, before we left, our chairs came and talked to my partner, giving feedback as well. My partner told me that we won, I was happy, but at the time I havent grasp of what it meant for me. The bus ride felt euphoric and processed. The next week, I came to get my award, and that’s when I stared at it for at least 10 minutes, till I started to comprehend what it really meant. Not only did my partner and I win a state award, but I also became the first Model UN member to letter in the team. I didn’t realize how serious it was, but I felt a sense of accomplishment, as being heard, seen, and witnessing the grasp of what Model UN is. By then, I didn’t really realize what prizes the Model UN had in store for me that season.
Through the season itself, I had ups and downs, I was tired, I was stressed, and I was emotionally distressed. I felt like I was struggling on my own until I met really, really good people in the club. I met so many people who made me feel included and seen. As well as the people who understand where I am in the club, they were there when I needed help, and my best friend, Isaiah, was an asset to me, helping me pull through Model UN. Not only did he help me prepare, but he also provided more guidance on the guidelines for what I should prepare. I was in a team with extremely good people, people who are funny, kind, understanding, and possibly the future. Every member in the team represented something to me, whether it was leadership, collaboration, or dependability. If I’m being honest, I wouldn’t be who I am without them. The advisors, especially Mr. Woodbury. He gave all of us so many open opportunities to take, as well as pushing us to the best of our abilities. He taught us how to see different perspectives of those around us, especially preparing us for our big conference. I have never been his student, but seeing him in action is something I can admire in every teacher I’ve met. Enough talking about that stuff. The people and the Advisors made me reflect, and made me stop doubting myself, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I knew my abilities and my capabilities as a person. When I looked back on my freshman and my middle school self, I felt like I was a better and improved person than I was before, and I embraced it. If you had to ask me if I wanted to do Model UN again, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I cannot express how I regret not joining in the first place, as well as doubting myself.
